OREM -- Being a Mormon has never been as simple as going to church on Sundays.
There are family nights, weekend campouts and potluck dinners that usually include green Jell-O with shredded carrots.
As much as any other religion, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has its own culture, with its own movies, music, jewelry and clothing.
Addressing those facets of membership is the aim of LDS Living, a magazine that made its premiere this month. The magazine includes articles on parenting and relationships as well as recipes and family activity ideas.
"Our focus is more on LDS lifestyle than it is on doctrine, and I think Latter-day Saints out there need a little bit more than what they get in that area," said publisher Matt Kennedy.
Kennedy would know. A movie he co-produced called "Singles Ward," a comedy about a congregation of young LDS single adults, has made $1 million at the box office since its June release. More than 65,000 copies of the DVD and video have been pre-sold to stores such as Wal-Mart, Smith's and Albertsons.
Wal-Mart ordered enough copies to stock 171 stores, Kennedy said.
"Our numbers are hitting a critical mass in terms of membership. Ten years ago you wouldn't have made a movie for Mormons," Kennedy said. "Latter-day Saints out there need a little bit more than what they are getting. Not in terms of doctrine, I think the cup is running over there. But with what we're doing . . . we might be adding drops of water to what is really wanted out there."
Kennedy said his magazine is not designed to replace other LDS magazines, like the Ensign, the official church magazine, but to complement them. He thinks the magazine will replace some "women's" magazines that are not designed for an LDS audience. Many of those magazines, which once focused on homemaking, have alienated more conservative readers by focusing instead on sex and celebrities.
LDS Living already has 9,000 subscribers, and Kennedy thinks there will be more than 50,000 within a year. The magazine has sold out three times this month at Deseret Book and other LDS book stores.
It may surprise some that 80 percent of subscribers come from outside Utah, and 5 percent come from outside the United States.
"I think a lot of our subscribers are looking for a connection to the LDS culture that is so prevalent here," said co-publisher Howard Collett.
That's the case with Pam Holt, a Mormon who lives in Seattle. Holt says she likes coming to Utah and watching news about the LDS Church on television.
"We don't get that here, and we're hungry to get anything we can about the church," she said. "I think this magazine will be such a boon to LDS families. The first issue is just dog-eared and every page is highlighted. There isn't a single article that isn't relevant."
The articles in the magazine are designed to teach a new concept or activity in 10 minutes that can be easily applied to the reader's life or the life of her family.
This month's issue includes a recipe called Sunday-Go-To-Meeting Chicken and a family history activity. There are also articles on fatherhood and how parents can improve their relationships with teenage children.
"We're not going to teach anything controversial. There are plenty of other things to talk about. Our magazine's mission parallels the mission of the church," Collett said.
Jody Walsh, a subscriber from Tucson, Ariz., said she will use the magazine as a missionary tool.
"It's less threatening than other things would be," she said. "I was sort of worried that it would be amateurish or weird, but I was really impressed. It's better than I thought it would be."
[EXCERPT]
CONTINUING FILMS
THE SINGLES WARD -- ** -- Essentially a filmed road show, this locally produced romantic comedy relies too heavily on cameos by such local celebrities as Steve Young, Richard Dutcher and Danny Ainge and "inside" humor, though leads Will Swenson and Connie Young do have a certain charm. Running time: 102 minutes. PG (slapstick violence). (Kaysville, Sandy, Showcase.) (Feb. 1, 2002)
A romantic comedy made by and for Mormons, Kurt Hale and David Hunter's directorial debut film contains many culture-specific in-jokes ("Hey, our ancestors were able to handle four or five wives -- you can't even keep one?"), but doesn't bother being as cloying or preachy as equivalent evangelical Christian movies -- maybe the filmmakers know that the likely audience will already be among the faithful. When excessively hair-gelled comedian Jonathan (Will Swenson, no Aaron Eckhart but reasonably charismatic) is abandoned by his wife, he spirals downward into a sinful lifestyle that involves drinking caffeinated colas, renting R-rated movies and watching MTV. That is, until he develops a crush on the church's director of singles activities (Connie Young). As squeaky-clean as the film is (almost all bad behavior in it is perpetrated by the token non-Mormon, who has neon-yellow hair, piercings and tattoos), it's still reasonably fun up until the rather predictable ending. The movie's laden with Mormon celebrities, few of whom will be recognizable to everyone else, among them Wally Joyner, Richard Dutcher, Danny Ainge, Jimmy Chunga and Julie Stoffer. (L.Y.T.) Opens Friday.
New Recommended
Folks who manage to construe the title as portending some latter-day sex farce with a bedside manner may wind up as disappointed as the crossover dreams of the improbably hip Latter-day Saints who stitched together this quilt of sight-and-sound gags about a Mormon comic's crush on a straight-arrow church babe in his "ward" (i.e., parish). It all plays out -- as co-written and directed by Kurt Hale -- like a high-end John Hughes comedy, a kind of Elder Bueller's Time Out, as genial divorcé John Jordan (Will Swenson), in numerous asides to the camera, recounts his attempts to cajole perky, if doctrinaire, young Cammie (Connie Young) -- whose seemingly narrow vision of the good life is in no way open to revision -- into accepting him for who he is. The problem for secular viewers will lie in the idea that who John is just isn't up to scratch, and that his looming re-conversion to the faith of his fathers constitutes not a loss of integrity, but rather its finding. On the other hand, the doubtless imminent video release of this small gem could provide general audiences with a welcome antidote to the poison of Roger Avary's forthcoming ramped-up date-rape singles comedy, Rules of Attraction.
On September 13, HaleStorm Entertainment will release the Mormon-themed comedy film The Singles Ward in theaters throughout California.
The Singles Ward features many cameos by famous Mormon personalities, including Gordon Jump, football legend Steve Young; basketball stars Danny Ainge, Thurl Bailey, and Shawn Bradley, as well as MTV's "The Real World-New Orleans" Julie Stoffer.
The Singles Ward is a laugh-out-loud comedy of a young man's fall into inactivity, and his singles ward's attempt to return him to the fold. Based on a true story, this film offers a light-hearted, non-offensive look into the culture of Mormonism and the peculiarities of the 'single' Latter-day Saints therein. A HaleStorm Entertainment presentation, The Singles Ward is produced and directed by Kurt Hale and Dave Hunter from a screenplay written by John Moyer and Kurt Hale. The director of photography is Ryan Little.
After 6 months of limited release in Utah, Idaho, Arizona, and Nevada the Mormon niche film, The Singles Ward, has broken the $960,000 mark at the box office. To date, it has played in over 80 theaters. With upcoming openings in New Mexico, Washington, Oregon, and Alaska, the film should surpass the $1,000,000 before the end of the month.
The Singles Ward is the first comedy written and produced with an LDS audience in mind. The Singles Ward has created a wave of interest in the LDS film genre. By using grass-roots marketing techniques and word of mouth advertising, Singles Ward has proven that the LDS market has potential for future films to do well-even when releasing among the bigger blockbuster movies of the summer.
The Singles Ward is one of the newest additions to a string on successful LDS feature films, which includes God's Army, Brigham City, and The Other Side Of Heaven. Nevertheless, the film is the only LDS feature comedy that has been released to date.
Mormons, known for their seriousness and sobriety, are letting loose on the silver screen with a spate of small-budget comedies.
HALESTORM ENTERTAINMENT, started by two Brigham Young University grads, started the trend with "The Singles Ward," a campy jab at the Mormon singles scene that was made for $400,000. (A line about divorce: "Our ancestors were able to handle four or five wives. You can't even keep one?") The movie -- PG for "automotive mayhem" -- has spawned eight other "Mormon comedies." (Eight!) A few are about the perils of missionary work, and one's about church basketball leagues. All this has prompted Mormon filmmaker Nathan Smith Jones to make a mockumentary about the quest to become the Mormon Spielberg. (Think "Spinal Tap" with Mormons.) "This market will be really competitive," Jones says. "I'm mocking it before it gets out of hand."
Stop me if you have heard this one: A young Mormon theater major stars in a Brigham Young University version of the classic play "Seven Brides for One Brother."
Please consider the source of the joke before dismissing it as: A) insensitive to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, B) a sure way to eternal damnation or C) the ultimate in political incorrectness.
The joke is told in "The Singles Ward," the new romantic comedy produced by Halestorm Entertainment, a film company whose managers attend the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The joke is just one of the film's many jabs at the prim-and-proper image of Mormons.
Many of the jokes are about the unmarried folks who are playing the Mormon version of "The Dating Game." The idea is to put potential mates together and let romance do the rest. But their congregation is filled with a funny collection of marriage-crazy women, guys who would be called losers by "Star Trek" geeks and couples who go directly from first date to marriage. When this group gets wild, they spike the punch with Mountain Dew.
Nothing takes more hits than the clean-cut image of the church, especially through the rebellion of Jonathan (Will Swenson).
A failed marriage has left Jonathan doubting his faith. He decides to go as crazy as he can go in Provo, Utah. His wild spree includes a trip to the grocery store to buy iced tea and a call to the cable company to unblock MTV.
In typical romantic-comedy fashion, Jonathan falls for a woman he initially hates. Eventually his heart goes out to the new love -- and the church.
For a long time, films have been a way to spread the teachings of various religious groups. The spiritual messages have been wrapped in action stories such as "Omega Code," murder mysteries such as "Brigham City" and emotional drama such as "Mercy Streets."
Mix religion with comedy, and what most often comes out are movies that are more blasphemous than blessed. Examples include "Monty Python's Life of Brian," "Nuns on the Run" and "Dogma."
The message notwithstanding, the test of any film is whether it is entertaining. Set this film in a Catholic or Baptist singles class, and the story would be just as fun, lighthearted and interesting.
That's to the credit of the film's actors, Swenson and Connie Young. He's just enough of an "aw-shucks" guy to make his feeble attempts at love fun to watch. Young is comfortable in her role as the object of attention. But she does deliver the bulk of the film's religious message.
There's no doubt that Mormons are looking to show they are a fun-loving bunch with "The Singles Ward." It's a film made by people who understand and practice the faith. The trick, though, is that director Kurt Hale never allows the religious message to dominate the story. This is a romantic comedy first, and a bit of religious propaganda second.
"The Singles Ward" is about two people falling in love despite some very comic misadventures. They just happen to be Mormons.
Rating: *** [3 out of 4 stars]
God, I love modern Mormon movies, a basically ignored movie genre. Kurt Hale's THE SINGLES WARD is like a funny and breezy sitcom, featuring a PG-rated romance between Jonathan and Cammie. The twentysomething lovers are played by Will Swenson and Connie Young, two attractive and likeable actors. With warm, genuine chemistry between them, they make a really cute couple -- eventually that is, since they initially get started off on the wrong track.
(First a warning. If you're not comfortable with characters who aren't shy about their religious convictions, Mormon movies may not be your cup of tea. Hollywood pictures have trained us to understand than the norm for families is to be dysfunctional and that religious beliefs are completely irrelevant. Mormon movies are a lot of fun, but the characters' firm moral foundations are based on their religion, which they aren't embarrassed to talk about.)
Jonathan is a standup comic who derives most of his jokes from his Mormon heritage. ("I did a Mormon version of an X-rated movie. There was no sex, just all guilt.") Jonathan has a serious problem. After his wife left him and the church, he ended up being a divorced Mormon. A divorced Mormon, he tells us, is like "a 76 Pinto with a gas leak." Nobody wants to come near. His divorced status, coupled with his lack of resolve, causes him to drift away from the church and to begin violating its rules. Some of his humorous examples include unblocking MTV from his cable system and renting all the DIE HARD videos as well as the uncut version of NEWSIES.
One day, Cammie calls. She is the head of the local singles ward, which is the social club where Mormons go to find a spouse. He is rude to her, which he spends half of the movie trying to get beyond. That they do finally get together is no surprise, but, since they were clearly made for each other, who cares? Theirs is a simple and heart-warming story, full of mirth that should charm all but the most cynical.
THE SINGLES WARD runs 1:40. It is rated PG for "mild thematic elements and brief language" and would be acceptable for all ages.
The film is playing in limited release now in the United States. In the Silicon Valley, it is showing at the AMC theaters.
2 1/2 stars [out of 4]
Alternately preachy, charming and even a little cynical, "The Singles Ward" -- a Mormon-produced romantic comedy about a group of young singles in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints -- walks the thin line of appeasing its built-in Mormon following while appealing to a much-larger crossover audience.
Modeled on your typical Doris Day-Rock Hudson lark -- about two people who are clearly meant for each other but don't get along -- the movie has no qualms about broadcasting its religious background. Director and co-writer Kurt Hale has done an admirable job in going back and forth between the usual romantic-comedy ingredients and references to religion and churchgoing. Strange bedfellows, indeed.
Hale, however, might have been more successful if this juxtaposition had been more seamless. His movie has a habit of making an irreverent, funny remark and then almost immediately mentioning religion. It's as if it's winking at us, assuring us it's all quite innocent.
In this film, a promising first date ends with the heroine saying, "How 'bout if I see you at church?"
Buoyed by an attractive young cast, "The Singles Ward" gets off to its idiosyncratic start by introducing the amiable leading male character, Jonathan Jordan (played by Will Swenson), a lapsed Mormon who works as a stand-up comic. His comedy routine is largely anti-Mormon.
"I recently finished doing a rated-X Mormon film," Jonathan says during one bit. "There was no sex ... only guilt."
Football legend Steve Young appears in one sequence as a church brother urging the singles ward of his congregation to get married "because single people are a menace to society." But a few scenes later, Jonathan complains that the only reason he ended up in a bad marriage is because his church was too rigid, coercing him into getting married way too young.
Married for a year and recently abandoned by his wife, Jonathan needs another woman in his life and he admits (in one of many asides to the audience) that he has become so used to picking up women in bars that he can't even imagine meeting one at church. You meet a woman in a bar, he tells us, and you have to worry only about keeping her happy for a few hours. But you meet one in church and you're up for a strict evaluation.
And so Jonathan, with the help of his buddies, decides to jump back into the dating scene -- and into LDS culture. When Jonathan lets himself be convinced by his friends to become more involved in the church, he gets a call from one of its events directors, Cammie (Connie Young), trying to recruit him. Cammie works at the local hospital and Jonathan tries to get her off the phone through offending her by asking her to give him a sponge bath.
His ploy works. But then he meets Cammie, and his hormones start to rage. Much of the plot is about Jonathan trying to get close to her, with Cammie pulling away -- but not without deflating him first. They squabble just like Doris and Rock did. Nothing new here, but very easy to watch.
As for the frequent sermonizing, well, that's relative. It didn't bother me -- well, not much.
LDS Cinema marches on, again.
A genre that scarcely existed two years ago, when Richard Dutcher's "God's Army" hit Utah screens and spread across the country, now is popping up everywhere.
Two more LDS-themed movies arrive in Utah in the next month: the romance "Charly" on Friday and the pioneer drama "Handcart: The Movie" on Oct. 11. The current issue of Newsweek has a short item, headlined "Mormons: They're a Laugh Riot," that mentions how the success of "The Singles Ward" has spawned eight more LDS-themed comedies -- including Nathan Smith Jones' in-the-works mockumentary of the genre, "The Work and the Story," which (if the film's Web site is not itself a spoof) also stars Dutcher.
It sometimes seems as if everybody who ever took a film course at BYU or the University of Utah saw "God's Army," said to themselves, "Hey, my buddies and I can do that!", grabbed their camcorders and hit the town.
But in the evolution of any movie niche -- whether it's African-American films, Latino films, gay films or LDS cinema -- there comes a crucial point where "we're making a movie about us!" doesn't cut it anymore. The novelty has worn off, and audiences who flocked to "God's Army" and "The Other Side of Heaven" will start expecting more.
LDS filmmakers will have to learn to grow on the job. Here is a little unsolicited advice, in 10 easy steps:
Step 1: Broaden your horizons. Stories that speak only to the faithful will get you an audience of a certain size, but no more. If you put LDS characters within universal stories, the LDS audience will stay -- and non-Mormons won't feel alienated, and they may even learn a few things about an unfamiliar culture.
Step 2: Take your time. The best thing you can do for your movie is to rewrite the script a few times, polish it until it gleams. Here's the beauty part: Rethinking your script, if you do it before you start production, doesn't cost you a dime.
Step 3: Think digitally. If you have a limited budget (and everybody who ever made a movie had a limited budget), the new high-tech cameras may help you spend it more wisely. Think about this: If the bulk of your revenue will come from video sales, and digital-to-film transfers are cheap, why spend a lot of money on pricey 35mm film?
Step 4: Think cinematically. On the other hand, if you're shooting in the South Pacific (like "The Other Side of Heaven") or a historic epic (like Dutcher's in-the-works Joseph Smith biopic), only film will do.
Step 5: Hire real actors. So your roommate at BYU acted in the Mormon Miracle Pageant in Manti -- big deal. There are plenty of people in Utah (and, for that matter, out of Utah) who carry both a SAG card and a temple recommend in their wallets. Hire them.
Step 6: Assemble a professional crew. Alas, some LDS-themed movies I have seen were missing that certain something -- like a focus puller or a decent sound mix. Utah film crews are among the best in the country, as the Utah Film Commission likes to remind us. Try shooting your movie in May or June, when the productions of "Touched by an Angel" and (if they make it through a full season) "Everwood" go on summer hiatus. Those guys are good and often looking for work during the break.
Step 7: Know your core market. The "Out of Step" folks made a good movie, then released it in mid-February at one Salt Lake-area theater -- when most of the target audience was paying attention to the Olympics. It was a hard lesson, but they learned it well, re-releasing their movie last month at several theaters.
Step 8: Listen to the local critics. We are your first impartial audience and will provide the first honest appraisal your movie will get. We know the culture you are depicting, so we can tell you how well it may translate to a mass audience. Don't just blow us off and say, "Oh, they don't get it" -- believe me, we get it.
Step 9: Listen to the national critics. Movie critics (the ones who aspire to be good ones, anyway) do not trash movies just to see how clever and cruel they can be. We do it because we want the movies to be better.
Step 10: Don't try to make the best LDS movie. Just try to make the best movie. The rest will sort itself out.
Watching The Singles Ward was a little like revisiting a strange planet, or a foreign country -- one where I lived, for three years, during the late Seventies and early Eighties, with a certain amount of bemusement and incomprehension, where people spoke about respecting other's "personal standards," guys worried about whether girls were just sizing them up for marriage or whether they really, really liked them (while the guys themselves felt like they were in a race-against-time to get married, settle down, and have children), and where any misstep in terms of abstinence or behavior could result not only in catastrophic consequences in the immediate world, but in the Hereafter, as well.
Jonathan (Will Swenson) is a BYU graduate who served his time in the L.D.S. mission field and now lives in Provo, Utah, working as a stand-up comedian. He was once married, until he came home one day to find his wife, in a foul mood, smoking and drinking (simultaneously -- a beer in one hand, a lit cigarette in the other). Now a divorcee, he doesn't want to attend the local "singles ward" -- attending the "married ward" means running the risk of finding yourself sitting one pew ahead of a flock of noisy kids to all but completely drown out whatever is being said at the podium. Being on the "singles ward" membership list, though, makes one liable to finding strange people you don't know pounding on your door at all hours of the day and night, enticing you into participating in activities like cheesecake-sampling -- "the reconnaissance tactics of fellowship and reactivation." Jonathan manages to reproof any and all comers, but he nevertheless is fated to meet up with Cammie (Connie Young), who's pretty and intelligent and spirited and can match him riposte with riposte. (To his credit, Will Swenson -- who is required to spend a good deal of time talking directly to us onscreen -- is pugnacious, agreeably cocky, and has genuine comic verve. He may be something of a find.)
Thus it is that The Singles Ward reveals itself to be the first L.D.S. dating movie. I don't know if the world is quite ready for this. There are a lot of L.D.S. insider references, some of which turned out to be so obscure I had to ask somebody about them. (And what's with all the business about bungee-jumping -- with cars? I haven't been this mystified over something since I last caught some of "Jackass" on M.T.V., which is blocked, by the way, on most of the Provo Valley cable systems.) The guys in the film use their own home-made brand of euphemisms to substitute in cases where they might otherwise use swearwords: examples: "Oh, flip! She's a cutie" "Oh, my holy fudge!" This is actually refreshing after some of the language I've heard passing for dialogue in some of the movies that have come out this year. One of the characters (played by Robert "Bob-O" Swenson) is the goofy-but-lovable non-member roommate, and there is also a requisite L.D.S. African-American buddy (played by Terance Edwards). Some of the jokes and gags in the movie work, and some of them fall flat -- real flat, in some instances. But there are also some rather good things: the way Jonathan's three closest friends are introduced with a "Reservoir Dogs"-like group walk; Cammie's reaction when she discovers Jonathan ragging on the Church during his standup comedy routine. Jonathan and Cammie follow a fairly predictable courtship ritual involving sparring, relenting, dating, then being driven apart by something. In this case, it turns out that Cammie has already put in her papers, not long before her first meeting with Jonathan, to go on a mission, and she gets called at a penultimate moment in the story, during which Connie Young gets to deliver what must be a first in motion picture ultimatums: "And, despite what I think, there's something I know: the Lord needs me in Australia." Jonathan, whose commitment to the Church is already shaky, slips off the track -- he plays pool, imbibes, shoots dice, and starts reading "Rolling Stone" -- and when he goes home with the lithesome female bartender (Michelle Ainge) at the comedy club where he works, she tells him that the "view on the balcony is incredible," whereupon Jonathan throws open the curtains and...well, it's the same thing that he looks at during an all-night vigil in his car during which he decides whether he's going to stay in the boat or get out of it.
The film is at its best when it is light, which turns out to be most of the time. (There are a number of cameo appearances, including a bizarrely humorous one by former NFL player Steve Young, and another by Richard Dutcher which is definitely one of the funniest things I've seen all year.) There is also a certain amount of confusion regarding the ending (stop here if you don't want it spoiled), in which it is uncertain whether one of the lead characters stays or goes. A second pass at the film actually reveals that this question is answered in a line exchanged between Steve and Cammie in one of the very last scenes, but it is very easy to miss. It opens the possibility for the film becoming a first in another way, though: usually it is the woman who is expected to wait patiently for the man to return home.
As a frequent vociferous critic of religious films, this reviewer enjoys watching them because they are usually so sub-par. This makes The Singles Ward an actual disappointment (or is that a nice surprise?). It's actually an okay film. Nothing to talk about, but a step ahead of many of its peers. However, one should not that is film was not made for an audience other than that of the Mormon church, which may be one reason why it is more enjoyable. The urge to preach is not there, since everybody watching already has the same beliefs as the film. The movie can focus on actually telling a story rather than trying to convert viewers. Storywise, this falls squarely into the romantic comedy category, which is not necessarily a great place to be. As genre, it tends to be stale and formulaic, and The Singles Ward follows the typical story arc and has the same types of characters as the entire genre, with the notable exception that almost everybody is Mormon. For anybody living in a cave, this means that boy meets girl and they dislike each other, so they must somehow grow to like each other, then one person does something stupid and the two break it. Then the obvious thing happens next.
The boy in question is Jonathan (Will Swenson), a Dean Cain lookalike who is a stand-up comedian. He is also divorced and in his mid-twenties, thereby making him an unofficial pariah in his church. Although he keeps many of the Church beliefs, he does is not actively and for most purposes is MIA. In steps Cammie (Connie Young), the extremely attractive new events coordinator. Jonathan unknowingly brushed off Cammie in a phone call. The two meet in person and hit it off, and when Cammie discovers who he actually is, she is enraged. Jonathan is struggling with issues of belonging. He feels torn between the secular world, which he is growing to enjoy, and the Church, where he feels like a member of the family. Spending time with Cammie makes him feel special, and because of this, he wants to do everything he can to convince her that he is indeed a good guy.
This means that he begins going back to church, and involving himself in activities. This is the main issue with The Singles Ward. The main goal is to have Jonathan undergo some sort of epiphany where he will return to the church. He does, but in writer/director Kurt Hale and co-writer John E. Moyer's script, it is all because he wants to go out with Cammie (hey, who wouldn't?). So his noble intentions seem tainted, and a tad bit disingenuous. If not for his desire, he would still be the same way. However, Hale and Moyer inject enough good feeling and lightheartedness into the script to make it passably enjoying. Swenson and Young have a nice chemistry together, and are appealing as the stars. The co-stars are oafish and hastily sketched, but they always are in these types of movies.
The second problem with The Singles Ward lies in its inaccessibility. It is not too accessible for non-Mormons. For those who choose to watch it, they will probably have a nice time, but will wonder what these people are doing or what they're talking about. It just helps to have an understanding of the Mormon Church, not necessarily what they believe, but more of the culture surrounding it. Hale also has a good time packing The Singles Ward full of cameos, but unfortunately these are only amusing to Mormons, who are probably the only people that can identify most of the guest stars.
Mongoose Rates It: Okay